Sliding Back into Old Habits. . . Again

Old habits die hard, says the old cliche. Like most cliches, there is always truth in it.

This last winter I did pretty good. I started blogging again; I wrote and released a new short romance story. At last! I’m on track. . . until I wasn’t.

The writing began not to go well, again. I decided that if I updated the look and feel of this blog, it would spur me into action. Now it is April and my last post was in January. Obviously, it didn’t work out too well for me.

Day by day, I realized I was slipping back down into the old habits I so desperately wanted to get away from. Old habits die hard.

Trying to pull myself back up, I visited this site. The design changes had seemed elegant and refined at the time I did them. Before I finished all of it, I wondered on to other things. The poor blog forgotten, again. Now the design seems cold, almost dark somehow, mostly lifeless. Maybe I should do some more changes? Or is this me procrastinating again? Maybe. Or maybe it’s me trying to rekindle my interest in all of this?

I lose focus. It happens. When I lose focus, my mind and and focus wonders on to other things. Should I scrap this pen name and start over? Should I try writing short erotica instead? Maybe it would be easier? Or am I trying to take the easy route far too often?

All these questions swirled through my mind. In the meantime, I got lost in life stuff. My cell phone was on its last leg and I urgently needed a new one and spent far too much time shopping for one. Then there were multiple vet visits, an eye doctor appointment, and other everyday things to deal with.

During this time, I read more fiction. Through reading, I found some focus again. As I did, I thought about this blog and my writing. As I surveyed the design again, I read my last few posts.

Once again, through reading, my focus became sharper, only this time it was my own words being flung back at me that did it. In my December 29th post, my words hit me hard. Some of that stuff I’d forgotten. Re-reading that post brought it all back to me when I needed it the most.

Then I thought, “Gee, I’m sure glad I wrote some of these blog posts, if nothing else, to remind me of where I want to go.”

In the December 7th post, I mentioned that if I was having trouble working on a story, I’d write a blog post instead. Often that got me back into the swing of writing fiction.

Something that I needed to remind myself. . . again.

There was also that nagging fear. The fear that if I didn’t do something soon, another year would go by. I’d wonder where it’d gone and why I didn’t achieve the things I wanted to.

I knew the only way to get to where I want to go was to get back to things. Get back to writing blog posts, because they often ignite my enthusiasm for writing fiction. Often I never know what to write, but sometimes if I sit down and just write, something come to me. Funny how that works.

To echo my previous post, if you visit and things look wonky, it’s because I’m changing the design up once again. Writing this post has renewed my vigor for the things I enjoy, but put off far too often. I will try to be more active on here, as it helps me in more ways than I realize. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find some amusement as well.